get me off this crazy thing

Despite the added complication of having to declare gain/loss from the selling of shares that were gifted (oy *headdesk*), I filed my taxes today and am getting a v. healthy return. \o/ And I couldn't have done it without the intarwebs. Cost Basis Calculators!.

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Also, this will be of no interest to any of you, but within the treasure trove that is YouTube (seriously, it's the gift that keeps on giving) one can find the complete game play, including cut scenes!, of such video game atrocities as WANTED: Weapons of Fate (link goes to playlist).

Yes, I really did have to watch the whole thing. O.O And then, like, actually try and figure out what the plot of the game was, not to mention tracking character development IN A VIDEO GAME. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIGURE OUT THE PLOT OF A VIDEO GAME??? As Spock would say, it's like trying to engineer with stone knives and bearskins. Needless to say my boss thinks I'm a genius for all this. hahaha.

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I'm going to pilates at Hutch's apartment again tomorrow. HAHA.

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Hey Pippi Langstrumpf.

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In other news, I had a lovely, although short, Escapade this year. It was great to see people. And then I have a friend in town who was demanding my attention, and then she bribed me (okay not really) into going with her to be in the studio audience for Craig Ferguson. Who I like, mostly, and the main guest was Michael Sheen, who I also like quite a bit (fabulous actor. seriously. Frost/Nixon? Best understated movie of 2008), but can't say I will ever want to repeat the experience. omg the pressure! if you don't laugh YOU WILL BE SHUNNED.

It's going to rain! again! this means yet another weekend with no horseback riding. this does not please me.

Meanwhile, I have a lot of work to do on the book, so I should go do that.

Sarah, the fastest land mammal. Be sure to watch the videos. Look at that face!

(this post could not get more random if I tried. just warning you all)

Does anyone on my friends list own a copy of The Windflower by Laura London, aka Sharon and Tom Curtis, that I could borrow? I'll pay for shipping to and fro! It's out of print and not at any of my local libraries, and all the used copies I've found are like $75, which, I don't care how good a romance novel is, that's ridiculous. I haven't delved into ebay yet, but that way lies desperation. Anyway, I'd thought I'd ask the mighty friend's list. halp!

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I have a theory that is 24 and Highlander related. It will only be of interest to one, maybe two people on my friends list -- ( my theory, which is mine, that I have, that is mine, is mine: )

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I am saddened by the news of David Carradine's death. Kung Fu was a fun show to watch. I have vivid memories of being freaked out by it on a regular basis, calling my friends "young grasshopper", and wondering why the main character had to get branded. Seriously, I watched the series a lot, but only remember the old teacher, and the opening sequence, and some shots of the guy wandering around the Old West with a large stick. But I never forgot David Carradine from then on.

The news article is saying they don't think it's suicide, but probably some sort of accident in an attempt at auto-erotic asphyxiation [1].

I saw David Carradine in person once, not that long ago. It was at a restaurant with outdoor seating in a very hip and happening part of town. There are always tons of people milling about and looking cool and stuff. You cant' walk down the sidewalk without weaving in and out of the crowds, that sort of thing. And he was there with a large group of people, all much younger than him, and it looked like friends and family. And the entire time he was there before they all got up and walked away, I was like quietly going "DUDE. KILL BILL IS SITTING NEXT TO US." That was fun. I think I'll remember him that way.

[1] When I was younger, I thought this term meant it involved a car. And was always slightly confused.

I saw somewhere that William Shatner was a guest on Jonathan Ross's talk show, and you know, he's always good for a laugh, and I was bored at work, so I hunted it down. Part 1, Part 2. Leave it to Shatner to be manhandled by a gorilla. bwah. Strange man.

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In completely unrelated news, I recently watched all three Resident Evil films. They were very silly and I loved them like pie. Zombie Apocalypse! It's what's for dinner.

I then proceeded to watch sisabet's vid for RE, Get Low, like a bazillion times. woo.

Also, Milla is pretty. I used to have tons of LeeLoo icons. hrmph.

Also, also, there was bonus James Purefoy and Oded Fehr! hhmmm, lovely.

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Simultaneous to my brief sojourn into ass-kicking girl zombie killers, I finished watching all of season 3 of 24[1], which is the biohazard/death virus season, you know, with the "have to contain the virus," "the virus is spreading exponentially," "the virus is out! I repeat, the virus is out!" etc etc, and even though I've seen the season already, I kept expecting Jack Bauer to have a zombie apocalypse on his hands. THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME.

Also, Tony Almeida? Is lovely. Love that guy.

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Clearly, if there was a zombie apocalypse, and William Shatner were facing a horde of zombies, one (or more than one) would stop and ask, "Are you Captain Kirk?"

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Hey! It's friday! woo?

[1] You may be under the mistaken impression that I have oodles of time for all this TV and Zombie Apocalypse watching, but no no, I just do it when I should be sleeping. haha.

Thank goodness for the Guardian. Never fails to provide adequate reading material:


The G20 seating plan: Never mind the stimulus, who sat next to the president?

It was, observers can agree, the only real question of import in the run-up to last night's summit dinner. Some might have concerned themselves with whether Russia and the US would agree a reduction in nuclear weapons, or how the Chinese premier, Hu Jintao, and his American counterpart, Barack Obama, would hit it off in their first face-to-face meeting, but experienced diplomats know those are not the encounters that matter. What really counts is who sits next to whom at dinner.

Contrary to expectations, however, the American president was not on Brown's immediate left, but found himself sitting on the other side of the table and two spaces along to the left.

That left two seats between the men, one next to Brown and one next to Obama, for the presidents of Indonesia and South Korea, Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono and Lee Myung-bak, making them the most favoured - and very possibly the most surprised - world leaders of the evening.

The particularly cherished "footsie" position directly opposite Brown, meanwhile, was taken by King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, permitting as much discussion of arms sales as any British leader could hope for.

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Not to leave the BBC out of it, either, I love this summary of all the world leaders, with bonus interactive map.

Courtesy of The Guardian: Brief encounters of the animal kind: Isabella Rossellini's Green Porno

Well, that's decided. I want to be Isabella Rossallini when I grow up. Or maybe I'm just in love with her.

Direct link to Green Porno. Watch them all. Leave it to Isabella Rossallini to make snails sexy. I mean, seriously.

Favorites are Bee and Snail, and Why Vagina, but they're all really kind of fantastic.

There are certain things you don't expect to hear Isabella Rossellini say. Things like, "I have sex several times a day. Any opportunity. Any female." Or, "To have babies, I need to mate with another hermaphrodite in the 69 position." Or, "When needed, I can have an erection six feet long." But there are plenty of delightfully unexpected things about Green Porno, Rossellini's series of short films about the sex lives of animals, the second batch of which has just gone live on the Sundance Channel's website.

In the first series, Rossellini enthusiastically portrayed, among other things, a bee bleeding to death after leaving its penis inside its mate (as they do), a mantis having its head rather frighteningly chewed off in flagrante delicto ("I keep copulating. Nothing stops me. I keep going! Sex!") and a snail clamped to its partner, dart-like appendages jabbing away ("I use them to inflict pain on my partners before mating – it turns me on. I love to be hurt too. Sadomasochism excites me"). The run ended with a strangely endearing shot of her severed head playing host to gestating maggots.

In the new batch, the theme has shifted underwater and the scale is no longer restricted to the miniature. Lessons are offered on the hydrodynamic shortcomings of a hefty whale penis, self-cloning among starfish and the extraordinary length, relative to its body, of the barnacle's nob. You haven't really lived until you've seen the look on Rossellini's face as a 20-foot handmade penis snakes its way from her clavicle to the other side of the room.

In fact, her charmingly sexy performance is integral to these shorts' successful character, whether she's strolling through a forest of eight-foot-tall, frilled, barbed and spiralling phalli or noting how important it is that her vagina's shape is "species-specific, so that I'm not screwed by a bear". What other actor could bring both coquettish charm and unbridled glee to the declaration "We are sequential hermaphrodites!" – delivered while wearing a limpet shell at a rakish angle?

It's hypnotic: French Orangina commercial. Bambi? Is that you?

ETA: Oh look! The making of this commercial! "Naturally Juicy"

So, yes, I'm still getting over the flu, and yes, my poor beloved 'puter is in the intensive care at the 'puter hospital, and yes, my roof is still leaky and the carpet smells like ass, BUT...

Jemaine Clemente keeps shaking his rump and showing me his sugalumps. HOW IN GOD'S NAME AM I SUPPOSED TO REMAIN UPSET WHILE WATCHING THIS???? Impossible. I can't wipe the smile off my face. Thank you, misspamela, for linking to this today. It may have saved my life.

Secondly, my boss sent me this LOLCAT today: SPECTACULARLY AWESOME!!!. omg I laughed and laughed and laughed.

And THIRDLY, I did my taxes, and while the state of California is bankrupt (d'oh!), I am getting a large federal refund! More than I was expecting which kind of makes up for the computer thing, so YAY!!!

Fourthy, I have friends who lend me things like season 2 of 24 so I can continue my crack habit. VERY IMPORTANT.

FIFTHLY, there is a website with the incredibly apt title of Almeida is God [Dot] Com , which is deeply amusing and remarkably true. But, the funniest bit about this site is their YouTube Channel where these two Canadian women do episode debriefs that are hysterical and full of both amusement and rather insightful critique and analysis! yay for adorable and funny Canadian women!