Supernatural ramblings, part 1 - (tl;dr)
Apr. 12th, 2021 02:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hafital(eta: whoops fixed my cut tags)
Part 2, Part 3
Here I am, rolling in 15 years late with starbucks, sunglasses on. In between my TFATWS meltdowns, I wrote this. (aside: having two very different but lovely Sams in my life is not helping my concentration! It is also confusing lol. It's worse than the Bruce - Bruce problem.)
I can honestly say there is no way I would ever have made it through SPN as a live show. For so many reasons. My past self knew that very well. Way to go, past self! But on the other hand, now that I’ve seen it all, I really did love it a lot, and I’m so glad that I caved and that I waited to watch it till now. No other time would have served better. I had so much fun. The best part was how much of an entertaining distraction it was during the chaotic months of November, December, and January. Also, watching it from my Chuck-like vantage point of already knowing the ending, I didn’t stress too much (nice) while also not knowing anything about later seasons so it was still a discovery (also nice.)
I was going to ramble through all 15 seasons of Supernatural in one post but it got *ahem* long. Too long. I felt chatty I guess lol. Never fear! I'll just spread out my ramblings over three days instead. Probably no one wants to read my *mumble* number of words of SPN ramblings? But I am here to entertain myself! Hah. I’m going to use a lot of cut tags.
You won’t find much hard criticism. What would be the point? We all know its faults. They’re pretty obvious. But I will poke fun now and again, and maybe grumble at times.
It’s a shame the end of this show coincided with the pandemic. After 15 years, it deserved to end unencumbered and unobstructed. I only know a little about how the pandemic directly affected SPN, but I know too much about how it affected all TV production. In short: it sucked, for everyone. Anyway, from what I heard they’d filmed all of 15x18 and then shut down. For any fans of that episode, count your blessings.
SPN, in general
If I had to pick one "monster" from SPN to become, I'd chose to be a reaper. It seems a compassionate job, and you get to travel everywhere and meet all kinds of people, and you can’t interfere. As long as you stay away from the Winchesters, you’re good! Do they reap monsters? Angels? Curious.
Early on, I would have said that SPN was 15 seasons of a 5 season show (mostly because how do you follow the apocalypse? Answer: many apocalypses!) But after watching the whole thing, I have to walk back that comment since I enjoyed the later seasons so much. There is perhaps more coherency to the first 5 seasons since it was Kripke's show and his vision. But, I loved the weird and funny places SPN went to after the first apocalypse. The world-building expanded, occasionally into the absurd but always in a charming way. I personally appreciated its expansion away from two boys and a car. But all the way through it kept its heart, its center of Sam and Dean, which then kept it from spiraling too far afield.
I’ve been amusing myself comparing SPN to The Good Place. Hilarious, since there couldn’t be two more different shows in tone and format. I don’t think The Good Place has one single solitary blood splatter! Both shows deal with a literal afterlife, the cruelty and unfairness of life on earth, being the unconscious playthings of immortal beings, and the merry-go-round of Heaven-Earth-Purgatory-Hell. Also, I’ve decided that all of the wacky time hijinks on SPN could only happen if time worked the same way it does in The Good Place, in a Jeremy Bearimy loop. And, in The Good Place, though they aren’t saving the world from one apocalypse to the next, they do save humanity not only from a hard reset/annihilation but also from being doomed to hell forever. And though SPN didn’t spend one second on moral philosophy, they pretty much just played out different versions of the trolley problem over and over again for 15 seasons, and in the final season they also save humanity from a hard reset/annihilation. Both shows also fixed heaven and hell. (The Good Place scored slightly higher than SPN simply because they were smart enough to include Timothy Olyphant.)
I know the Winchesters (aside: each time I say Winchesters, in my mind I sound like Rowena. "WiiiNcheeesters" hahah) went from apocalypse to apocalypse, but it's more like one long slow burn apocalypse. There was a ramp-up for 4 years, and then Chuck just kept throwing different things at them until he was like okay fine, I guess I gotta go do it myself, Thanos-style hahah. This amuses me. (everything about Chuck amuses me, but we’ve established that already).
Other things about the show in general: On the whole, I preferred the ghost stories to the “monster” killing episodes. I don’t much like the monster killing, tbh -- to me they're just alt humans -- but there are some exceptional monster episodes. The ghost stories had human tragedy and human sadness that resonated with me. And I just like ghost stories. I especially loved the episodes that had neither monsters nor ghosts when it was just humans being fucked up, but those are very few indeed.
I loved the detective work in the standalone episodes, how they had to figure out what they were dealing with, how to deal with it, who was the monster, what kind of monster, or if it was a ghost they had to figure out how they died, what kept them there. I appreciated that it sometimes got complex and difficult, and they were often fooled, and sometimes it was easy and sometimes they were in very real, very visceral danger.
Loved that they called them cases, and worked them like actual law enforcement. I have this headcanon that Sam and Dean would sometimes end up actually sending in reports to the real FBI, and it was a bit of a mystery for the FBI but they never caught on.
As a child of Hollywood who went to school for theatre design, I try to be forgiving with the wonky production values for a show like this one that doesn't have the budget for it. But, I went back and forth being disappointed by the bad hair and make-up (except for Rowena’s make-up which was always amazing), particularly with ghosts’ hair and make-up, to praising the excellent set design. Whoever was in charge of designing each motel room should get a round of applause. At the beginning I was like, why are Sam and Dean staying at these weird boutique motels that each have funky room dividers? But as the series continued, they got more and more creative. My favorite might have been the Tiki motel, but the Scottish and Western-themed ones were close seconds.
Also, they’re both very handsome in their nicely pressed FBI suits but each time we see them traveling they have all their clothes stuffed into duffle bags or backpacks. This may seem like a minor thing but it drove me crazy! I had to wait until season 13 and then finally Sam and Dean are seen holding dry cleaning! Reader, I nearly fell off my chair with excitement.
SPN must exist in an alternate universe that does not have blood-borne diseases (except of course for the vampiric or werewolf variety) because everyone on this show is perfectly okay touching blood with their bare hands all the time. Not to mention being splattered with it every episode. How is it not getting in their mouths?? I lost count how many times Dean or Sam touch blood never bothering to use a prophylactic glove (don’t laugh.) Also, while I’m on this subject, would it kill them to use defensive clothing? I mean, at least a bulletproof vest every once in a while. If you’re dealing with creatures that will bite you, wear clothing that will slow them down!
The concept of time on SPN is, well, flexible. One thing that struck me as funny is how it was always present time even in the alternate earths, despite the fact that Chuck made those earths eons ago (presumably). Everything exists now. Also how Castiel would say, "Whoa you’re not the you of now," or however he said it. Even how the show started most episodes with THEN, and then NOW. Anyway, my point is that time is meaningless.
One last thing – suddenly in season 3 or somewhere, they start using the word "gank" all the time. I was like….what…is that word…? Also, “you’re his bitch.” Everyone was someone’s bitch all of a sudden. Who talks like this?? No one. They also “ride the pine” a lot lol. I had to look that one up. Sports reference. Though I loved "smite." I will smite you! Smite should come back into regular vocabulary use.
Okay, moving on.
Sam and Dean
I know that most people watch SPN and either end up saying they’re Sam fans or Dean fans (and then I guess there came along the Castiel fans) but I don’t know if I can separate them. They come as a unit (hahahah….). I identify with Dean because he’s an older sibling and I’m an older sibling, and I know what it’s like to be stuck as the peacemaker in the family. (It sucks.) I identify with Sam because he likes research and is smarter than everyone else and wants to get the hell away from his crazy family and college was the way out. Totally get that since I did the exact same thing, and fully support him. Run away, Sam! Run far!
In fact, that was one of the biggest problems I had to get over to enjoy SPN in the early seasons. What I wanted as a dynamic between the brothers was, “Dean would rather cut off his right arm to keep Sam out of the hunter life and in school, but Sam won’t leave his brother to face it alone,” but instead it was “Dean and Sam are codependently unable to live without the other and will literally sell their souls to do it.” And I know it was a lot more complex than that, but that's still how it was played.
But as they matured and the show matured and their codependency was no longer being constantly used as a plot point (okay, it never goes away and everyone acknowledges it, but at least they angst over it less, and their codependency is what saves them) I began to view the beginning of the series differently. I mean, they’re both about 40 years old by the time it ends, a far cry from how they began. In season one they’re children. They’re these beautiful young men with kind hearts no matter how their father raised them, who do not have a clue what kind of hell (literally) is in store for them. I don’t think S1-3 (or even through to like S10 if I’m being honest) Sam and Dean can be expected to have the maturity to make wise choices, particularly not when Chuck is somewhere manipulating everything. My entire reaction to early Sam and Dean was, “okay, you’re both cute and I love you but I’m just going to wait until you’re old enough that it doesn’t hurt.” (correction: Sam is Cute. Dean is walking around with large anime eyes and pouty lips).
It wasn't until around season 9 or 10 that I was like, okay now we’re talking, now they're getting Handsome and Sexy. I like all the cute eye-crinkles on Dean. And also Sam starts looking like Walton Goggin’s much taller younger brother, which is fine by me. Hey. I have a type. Young and pretty is generally not it.
I did struggle with season 3-4 Dean’s more crass habits (and the show’s treatment of women in general in the early seasons), when he’d say things like (when invisible) "let’s go check out the girl’s locker room heh heh heh," and also the "three of the cheerleaders are legal" in the H.S. ep. Gross. He changes after he lives with Lisa, and everything about him screams wanting a family. But it got wobbly there for a minute. The show left most of that behind, thankfully. Dean is a collection of bad habits with a good heart, with some habits that he lets go, and some he doesn’t. To be clear though, I don't mind the porn habit, which is understandable given how they live, though why it has to be busty asian porn I do not know, or I do know and I resent it (the mentions of anime porn are hilarious though). Nor do I mind the casual hook-ups, which is also understandable. I love his growth in the later years.
Sam is very much a gentleman throughout. Unless he has no soul haha. Well, he's still seemed gentlemanly I guess but, er, without reservation.
Once they get into the bunker, I began to love the Sam and Dean relationship. There is less judgment, and though they still fight, as you do, and make many mistakes, they are better able to negotiate past it. They either learn from their mistakes or at least are better informed and more conscious of them. More importantly, while they start as brothers who would die for each other, what they become are partners and best friends and also brothers who would die for each other. I for one prefer later seasons Sam and Dean. <3 And IMO it helps that they have more than just Bobby in their lives.
Castiel, and Dean/Castiel
Like a nosy neighbor peeking into the fandom, I vividly remember when Castiel first appeared on the scene. His appearance in the fandom was very much like his appearance on the show. Explosions! Everyone was up in arms, and there was an immediate divide. Feelings were bruised. How dare this angel come in and shake everything up!
For myself I remember seeing pics of Castiel and going, "Oh hey it's the sexy younger terrorist brother from the first season of 24." And that's pretty much exactly how I thought of him each time I ever saw a vid or anything with Castiel. "Oh hey, that sexy dude from 24." I mean, MC was SEXY on 24. Seductive. Evil, of course. Very much the bad guy. And dead by the end of it. But Very Attractive.
I briefly (very briefly) considered watching SPN when they brought in angels to the story because I love angels and wars in heaven. I am a huge fan of both the Prophecy films (well, the first 3 anyway) and Constantine. But, ultimately not even a possible battle between good and bad angels got me interested in SPN at the time. Also, I was too fond of The Prophecy to think it would be done better. (aside: do the Prophecy films exist in the SPN universe? Those films have it all, including a nephilim. Did Dean make Castiel watch? Hahah. We know Constantine exists in SPN since it's directly referenced).
Today, I decided to watch SPN was to see how the show got to the 15x18 confession scene. I wanted to see if they earned that, and what kind of build up they had to it, and what kind of relationship had grown between Dean and Castiel to get to that point. Also, on paper Castiel is much more my speed as a character, and so is Dean/Castiel as a pairing. Give me a millennia-old character any day. I’m ready! *takes notes* (aside: I always judge "old" characters by whether they’re older or younger than Methos. Castiel is genuinely older than Methos! In fact, SPN is full of characters older than Methos. Are there Castiel/Methos fics? Oh boy lol.)
However, in actuality as I watched the show, I found Castiel a bit of a hard nut to crack, as a character. I liked him, don’t get me wrong. I adore him. Kind of hard not to love him, he’s so charming, and by the time he recovers from his Godspell (haha!) he's genuinely kind. Naked Covered in Bees is my favorite flavor of Castiel. (aside: I am always amused by references to "Godstiel" because doesn’t that mean God’s God? Heh. Though given his relationship to Jack by the end of the series that’s rather fitting actually. Angel of the Lord indeed.)
I loved his off-beat relationship with both Winchester brothers, and occasionally preferred Sam and Castiel to Dean and Castiel, though the 3 of them together is more where I wanted to live. He has a clear character arc through the end of season 5, but then they kept having him leave or die. Well, they all die too much if you ask me.
But much like almost everything with my experience watching SPN, I had to look at Castiel from the lens of the end of the series to understand him at the beginning. His journey starts with saving Dean, and that carries him through to the end. But because they have the character go off the rails and then he’s leaving and dying and everything else that happens (and, I don’t mind all that though it’s not the most consistent of writing), he doesn't come into focus for me until the later seasons, like S8 and later, and then into sharper focus at the end when he comes full circle. And then I could see the path his character took.
And like, I forget who said it on the show, but Castiel was doomed the moment he laid hands on Dean in hell. That’s old magic. But the best part is that dooming him is how he was saved. They saved each other. As much as Castiel saved Dean literally, Dean saved Castiel figuratively.
I also enjoyed their chemistry. They can’t bring themselves to kill each other, their friendship is stretched almost to a breaking point several times but it never really breaks, they’re devastated when they lose each other -- and for Dean, his devastation is different when he loses Castiel than when he loses Sam, and I find that fascinating. It’s like a whole body thing when he loses Sam, and more of a broken heart thing when he loses Castiel. And they want to be together but they can’t or won’t etc, and all of that is there, though sometimes I felt the show was telling me instead of showing me but that’s a gripe for another day.
It's very beautiful and sad seeing Castiel carry this love around in the final season but associating it with never being happy, to then switch that around into happiness. It's this release for him. Heartbreaking but also with a speck of joy mixed in. It's so unusual, how they did it. Mostly because for a character (or anyone on this planet earth) to arrive at an awareness of unconditional love for someone regardless of the nature of the relationship is so rare, and rarer still to have it confessed like that on a television show, and to see him realize it as he's saying it. And it’s alarmingly tender when it’s one-sided, which is what Castiel thinks it is. *weep* They could be boinking like bunnies and twitterpatedly in love with each other and not have that kind of understanding, while they could be completely platonic but have a deeper love than is possible for most people to have.
There is a similar thing between Sam and Dean in the barn scene, though they don't link it to happiness in the same way so much as purpose on earth, which is a whole other momentous thing. They are the Winchesters, after all. And they also have a release, a letting go which was never there any of the other times they lost each other.
Actually, unconditional love should be the theme of SPN, more than hunting things. There are examples of it all over the show, with both having it and the lack of it. Those who are capable of it and those who are not. Chuck could never, but Jack could. And how so many of the quasi villains (Meg, Crowley, Rowena, Ketchup) start out trying to kill the Winchesters (or use them) but then even just knowing them means they will eventually be dragged into the light. There’s a lot of struggle to get there, because humans are humans and we have issues and it’s a complicated world, but that struggle is worth it, and the effort is what matters way more than the result. Dean is sort of the prime example of that. That’s what the show is about imo, or at least what I want it to be about. And that’s ultimately what drew me in, more than anything else.
Other pairings I’m into, in no particular order
This is not a complete list:
Dean/Death (the first Death) (though Dean/Billie has its merits I don’t think the universe would survive)
Sam/Rowena
Jody/Dean and Jody/Sam (what?)
Donna/Dean and Donna/Sam (…what??)
Sam/Eileen (yay!)
Jody/Mary (sigh)
Jody/Donna (this is canon right?)
Jack/Jesse (antichrists in love! <3)
Claire/Kaia (obvs)
Dean/Benny (my heart)
Dean/Cain. (I mean…. Also haha dean cain. Sorry. I am easily amused.)
OG Michael/Adam (the other Winchester brother, not the first man) (how would that work…lol)
I realize Castiel is not on the list. I liked the unusual relationship he had with Meg quite a lot. Especially his gentleness with her, and his reluctance to kill her when ordered, and the way she called him her unicorn, the shy way he referenced the pizza man, and his, "I know how to make a woman's nether parts quiver" hahaha <3. But besides that, and besides Dean/Castiel and Sam/Castiel or a S/D/C scenario, I’m not sure my heart can handle Castiel with anyone else. Certainly not any of the other angels. (aside: his scenes with Hannah made me laugh because she was like naked and he was like oh my god where do I look hahhahaha <3 <3 <3). I like flirty Castiel/Rowena, her handsome angel. Castiel/human female is okay with me, actually. But I don't know, he's kind of reserved for the Winchesters.
Someone else not on the list is Crowley. If anyone asks me to imagine Crowley in any more sexual or romantic manner than the show already made me suffer through (the middle-aged hot flash lady notwithstanding, that was awesome) I will be forced to smite you. A part of me shriveled up and died when they hinted at a threesome with him and Dean.
Other persons not on the list are Chuck or Lucifer. I’d actually be okay with Chuck/Dean in theory, but eh, I can't quite picture it (and I don't really like Dean/Amara as a pairing though I like their conversations). Lucifer is just wrong on any level, in any vessel, with any person, and I'm deeply deeply deeply sorry for Kelly Kline.
Okay, that's just a warm up. 15 seasons tomorrow.
Part 2, Part 3
Here I am, rolling in 15 years late with starbucks, sunglasses on. In between my TFATWS meltdowns, I wrote this. (aside: having two very different but lovely Sams in my life is not helping my concentration! It is also confusing lol. It's worse than the Bruce - Bruce problem.)
I can honestly say there is no way I would ever have made it through SPN as a live show. For so many reasons. My past self knew that very well. Way to go, past self! But on the other hand, now that I’ve seen it all, I really did love it a lot, and I’m so glad that I caved and that I waited to watch it till now. No other time would have served better. I had so much fun. The best part was how much of an entertaining distraction it was during the chaotic months of November, December, and January. Also, watching it from my Chuck-like vantage point of already knowing the ending, I didn’t stress too much (nice) while also not knowing anything about later seasons so it was still a discovery (also nice.)
I was going to ramble through all 15 seasons of Supernatural in one post but it got *ahem* long. Too long. I felt chatty I guess lol. Never fear! I'll just spread out my ramblings over three days instead. Probably no one wants to read my *mumble* number of words of SPN ramblings? But I am here to entertain myself! Hah. I’m going to use a lot of cut tags.
You won’t find much hard criticism. What would be the point? We all know its faults. They’re pretty obvious. But I will poke fun now and again, and maybe grumble at times.
It’s a shame the end of this show coincided with the pandemic. After 15 years, it deserved to end unencumbered and unobstructed. I only know a little about how the pandemic directly affected SPN, but I know too much about how it affected all TV production. In short: it sucked, for everyone. Anyway, from what I heard they’d filmed all of 15x18 and then shut down. For any fans of that episode, count your blessings.
SPN, in general
If I had to pick one "monster" from SPN to become, I'd chose to be a reaper. It seems a compassionate job, and you get to travel everywhere and meet all kinds of people, and you can’t interfere. As long as you stay away from the Winchesters, you’re good! Do they reap monsters? Angels? Curious.
Early on, I would have said that SPN was 15 seasons of a 5 season show (mostly because how do you follow the apocalypse? Answer: many apocalypses!) But after watching the whole thing, I have to walk back that comment since I enjoyed the later seasons so much. There is perhaps more coherency to the first 5 seasons since it was Kripke's show and his vision. But, I loved the weird and funny places SPN went to after the first apocalypse. The world-building expanded, occasionally into the absurd but always in a charming way. I personally appreciated its expansion away from two boys and a car. But all the way through it kept its heart, its center of Sam and Dean, which then kept it from spiraling too far afield.
I’ve been amusing myself comparing SPN to The Good Place. Hilarious, since there couldn’t be two more different shows in tone and format. I don’t think The Good Place has one single solitary blood splatter! Both shows deal with a literal afterlife, the cruelty and unfairness of life on earth, being the unconscious playthings of immortal beings, and the merry-go-round of Heaven-Earth-Purgatory-Hell. Also, I’ve decided that all of the wacky time hijinks on SPN could only happen if time worked the same way it does in The Good Place, in a Jeremy Bearimy loop. And, in The Good Place, though they aren’t saving the world from one apocalypse to the next, they do save humanity not only from a hard reset/annihilation but also from being doomed to hell forever. And though SPN didn’t spend one second on moral philosophy, they pretty much just played out different versions of the trolley problem over and over again for 15 seasons, and in the final season they also save humanity from a hard reset/annihilation. Both shows also fixed heaven and hell. (The Good Place scored slightly higher than SPN simply because they were smart enough to include Timothy Olyphant.)
I know the Winchesters (aside: each time I say Winchesters, in my mind I sound like Rowena. "WiiiNcheeesters" hahah) went from apocalypse to apocalypse, but it's more like one long slow burn apocalypse. There was a ramp-up for 4 years, and then Chuck just kept throwing different things at them until he was like okay fine, I guess I gotta go do it myself, Thanos-style hahah. This amuses me. (everything about Chuck amuses me, but we’ve established that already).
Other things about the show in general: On the whole, I preferred the ghost stories to the “monster” killing episodes. I don’t much like the monster killing, tbh -- to me they're just alt humans -- but there are some exceptional monster episodes. The ghost stories had human tragedy and human sadness that resonated with me. And I just like ghost stories. I especially loved the episodes that had neither monsters nor ghosts when it was just humans being fucked up, but those are very few indeed.
I loved the detective work in the standalone episodes, how they had to figure out what they were dealing with, how to deal with it, who was the monster, what kind of monster, or if it was a ghost they had to figure out how they died, what kept them there. I appreciated that it sometimes got complex and difficult, and they were often fooled, and sometimes it was easy and sometimes they were in very real, very visceral danger.
Loved that they called them cases, and worked them like actual law enforcement. I have this headcanon that Sam and Dean would sometimes end up actually sending in reports to the real FBI, and it was a bit of a mystery for the FBI but they never caught on.
As a child of Hollywood who went to school for theatre design, I try to be forgiving with the wonky production values for a show like this one that doesn't have the budget for it. But, I went back and forth being disappointed by the bad hair and make-up (except for Rowena’s make-up which was always amazing), particularly with ghosts’ hair and make-up, to praising the excellent set design. Whoever was in charge of designing each motel room should get a round of applause. At the beginning I was like, why are Sam and Dean staying at these weird boutique motels that each have funky room dividers? But as the series continued, they got more and more creative. My favorite might have been the Tiki motel, but the Scottish and Western-themed ones were close seconds.
Also, they’re both very handsome in their nicely pressed FBI suits but each time we see them traveling they have all their clothes stuffed into duffle bags or backpacks. This may seem like a minor thing but it drove me crazy! I had to wait until season 13 and then finally Sam and Dean are seen holding dry cleaning! Reader, I nearly fell off my chair with excitement.
SPN must exist in an alternate universe that does not have blood-borne diseases (except of course for the vampiric or werewolf variety) because everyone on this show is perfectly okay touching blood with their bare hands all the time. Not to mention being splattered with it every episode. How is it not getting in their mouths?? I lost count how many times Dean or Sam touch blood never bothering to use a prophylactic glove (don’t laugh.) Also, while I’m on this subject, would it kill them to use defensive clothing? I mean, at least a bulletproof vest every once in a while. If you’re dealing with creatures that will bite you, wear clothing that will slow them down!
The concept of time on SPN is, well, flexible. One thing that struck me as funny is how it was always present time even in the alternate earths, despite the fact that Chuck made those earths eons ago (presumably). Everything exists now. Also how Castiel would say, "Whoa you’re not the you of now," or however he said it. Even how the show started most episodes with THEN, and then NOW. Anyway, my point is that time is meaningless.
One last thing – suddenly in season 3 or somewhere, they start using the word "gank" all the time. I was like….what…is that word…? Also, “you’re his bitch.” Everyone was someone’s bitch all of a sudden. Who talks like this?? No one. They also “ride the pine” a lot lol. I had to look that one up. Sports reference. Though I loved "smite." I will smite you! Smite should come back into regular vocabulary use.
Okay, moving on.
Sam and Dean
I know that most people watch SPN and either end up saying they’re Sam fans or Dean fans (and then I guess there came along the Castiel fans) but I don’t know if I can separate them. They come as a unit (hahahah….). I identify with Dean because he’s an older sibling and I’m an older sibling, and I know what it’s like to be stuck as the peacemaker in the family. (It sucks.) I identify with Sam because he likes research and is smarter than everyone else and wants to get the hell away from his crazy family and college was the way out. Totally get that since I did the exact same thing, and fully support him. Run away, Sam! Run far!
In fact, that was one of the biggest problems I had to get over to enjoy SPN in the early seasons. What I wanted as a dynamic between the brothers was, “Dean would rather cut off his right arm to keep Sam out of the hunter life and in school, but Sam won’t leave his brother to face it alone,” but instead it was “Dean and Sam are codependently unable to live without the other and will literally sell their souls to do it.” And I know it was a lot more complex than that, but that's still how it was played.
But as they matured and the show matured and their codependency was no longer being constantly used as a plot point (okay, it never goes away and everyone acknowledges it, but at least they angst over it less, and their codependency is what saves them) I began to view the beginning of the series differently. I mean, they’re both about 40 years old by the time it ends, a far cry from how they began. In season one they’re children. They’re these beautiful young men with kind hearts no matter how their father raised them, who do not have a clue what kind of hell (literally) is in store for them. I don’t think S1-3 (or even through to like S10 if I’m being honest) Sam and Dean can be expected to have the maturity to make wise choices, particularly not when Chuck is somewhere manipulating everything. My entire reaction to early Sam and Dean was, “okay, you’re both cute and I love you but I’m just going to wait until you’re old enough that it doesn’t hurt.” (correction: Sam is Cute. Dean is walking around with large anime eyes and pouty lips).
It wasn't until around season 9 or 10 that I was like, okay now we’re talking, now they're getting Handsome and Sexy. I like all the cute eye-crinkles on Dean. And also Sam starts looking like Walton Goggin’s much taller younger brother, which is fine by me. Hey. I have a type. Young and pretty is generally not it.
I did struggle with season 3-4 Dean’s more crass habits (and the show’s treatment of women in general in the early seasons), when he’d say things like (when invisible) "let’s go check out the girl’s locker room heh heh heh," and also the "three of the cheerleaders are legal" in the H.S. ep. Gross. He changes after he lives with Lisa, and everything about him screams wanting a family. But it got wobbly there for a minute. The show left most of that behind, thankfully. Dean is a collection of bad habits with a good heart, with some habits that he lets go, and some he doesn’t. To be clear though, I don't mind the porn habit, which is understandable given how they live, though why it has to be busty asian porn I do not know, or I do know and I resent it (the mentions of anime porn are hilarious though). Nor do I mind the casual hook-ups, which is also understandable. I love his growth in the later years.
Sam is very much a gentleman throughout. Unless he has no soul haha. Well, he's still seemed gentlemanly I guess but, er, without reservation.
Once they get into the bunker, I began to love the Sam and Dean relationship. There is less judgment, and though they still fight, as you do, and make many mistakes, they are better able to negotiate past it. They either learn from their mistakes or at least are better informed and more conscious of them. More importantly, while they start as brothers who would die for each other, what they become are partners and best friends and also brothers who would die for each other. I for one prefer later seasons Sam and Dean. <3 And IMO it helps that they have more than just Bobby in their lives.
Castiel, and Dean/Castiel
Like a nosy neighbor peeking into the fandom, I vividly remember when Castiel first appeared on the scene. His appearance in the fandom was very much like his appearance on the show. Explosions! Everyone was up in arms, and there was an immediate divide. Feelings were bruised. How dare this angel come in and shake everything up!
For myself I remember seeing pics of Castiel and going, "Oh hey it's the sexy younger terrorist brother from the first season of 24." And that's pretty much exactly how I thought of him each time I ever saw a vid or anything with Castiel. "Oh hey, that sexy dude from 24." I mean, MC was SEXY on 24. Seductive. Evil, of course. Very much the bad guy. And dead by the end of it. But Very Attractive.
I briefly (very briefly) considered watching SPN when they brought in angels to the story because I love angels and wars in heaven. I am a huge fan of both the Prophecy films (well, the first 3 anyway) and Constantine. But, ultimately not even a possible battle between good and bad angels got me interested in SPN at the time. Also, I was too fond of The Prophecy to think it would be done better. (aside: do the Prophecy films exist in the SPN universe? Those films have it all, including a nephilim. Did Dean make Castiel watch? Hahah. We know Constantine exists in SPN since it's directly referenced).
Today, I decided to watch SPN was to see how the show got to the 15x18 confession scene. I wanted to see if they earned that, and what kind of build up they had to it, and what kind of relationship had grown between Dean and Castiel to get to that point. Also, on paper Castiel is much more my speed as a character, and so is Dean/Castiel as a pairing. Give me a millennia-old character any day. I’m ready! *takes notes* (aside: I always judge "old" characters by whether they’re older or younger than Methos. Castiel is genuinely older than Methos! In fact, SPN is full of characters older than Methos. Are there Castiel/Methos fics? Oh boy lol.)
However, in actuality as I watched the show, I found Castiel a bit of a hard nut to crack, as a character. I liked him, don’t get me wrong. I adore him. Kind of hard not to love him, he’s so charming, and by the time he recovers from his Godspell (haha!) he's genuinely kind. Naked Covered in Bees is my favorite flavor of Castiel. (aside: I am always amused by references to "Godstiel" because doesn’t that mean God’s God? Heh. Though given his relationship to Jack by the end of the series that’s rather fitting actually. Angel of the Lord indeed.)
I loved his off-beat relationship with both Winchester brothers, and occasionally preferred Sam and Castiel to Dean and Castiel, though the 3 of them together is more where I wanted to live. He has a clear character arc through the end of season 5, but then they kept having him leave or die. Well, they all die too much if you ask me.
But much like almost everything with my experience watching SPN, I had to look at Castiel from the lens of the end of the series to understand him at the beginning. His journey starts with saving Dean, and that carries him through to the end. But because they have the character go off the rails and then he’s leaving and dying and everything else that happens (and, I don’t mind all that though it’s not the most consistent of writing), he doesn't come into focus for me until the later seasons, like S8 and later, and then into sharper focus at the end when he comes full circle. And then I could see the path his character took.
And like, I forget who said it on the show, but Castiel was doomed the moment he laid hands on Dean in hell. That’s old magic. But the best part is that dooming him is how he was saved. They saved each other. As much as Castiel saved Dean literally, Dean saved Castiel figuratively.
I also enjoyed their chemistry. They can’t bring themselves to kill each other, their friendship is stretched almost to a breaking point several times but it never really breaks, they’re devastated when they lose each other -- and for Dean, his devastation is different when he loses Castiel than when he loses Sam, and I find that fascinating. It’s like a whole body thing when he loses Sam, and more of a broken heart thing when he loses Castiel. And they want to be together but they can’t or won’t etc, and all of that is there, though sometimes I felt the show was telling me instead of showing me but that’s a gripe for another day.
It's very beautiful and sad seeing Castiel carry this love around in the final season but associating it with never being happy, to then switch that around into happiness. It's this release for him. Heartbreaking but also with a speck of joy mixed in. It's so unusual, how they did it. Mostly because for a character (or anyone on this planet earth) to arrive at an awareness of unconditional love for someone regardless of the nature of the relationship is so rare, and rarer still to have it confessed like that on a television show, and to see him realize it as he's saying it. And it’s alarmingly tender when it’s one-sided, which is what Castiel thinks it is. *weep* They could be boinking like bunnies and twitterpatedly in love with each other and not have that kind of understanding, while they could be completely platonic but have a deeper love than is possible for most people to have.
There is a similar thing between Sam and Dean in the barn scene, though they don't link it to happiness in the same way so much as purpose on earth, which is a whole other momentous thing. They are the Winchesters, after all. And they also have a release, a letting go which was never there any of the other times they lost each other.
Actually, unconditional love should be the theme of SPN, more than hunting things. There are examples of it all over the show, with both having it and the lack of it. Those who are capable of it and those who are not. Chuck could never, but Jack could. And how so many of the quasi villains (Meg, Crowley, Rowena, Ketchup) start out trying to kill the Winchesters (or use them) but then even just knowing them means they will eventually be dragged into the light. There’s a lot of struggle to get there, because humans are humans and we have issues and it’s a complicated world, but that struggle is worth it, and the effort is what matters way more than the result. Dean is sort of the prime example of that. That’s what the show is about imo, or at least what I want it to be about. And that’s ultimately what drew me in, more than anything else.
Other pairings I’m into, in no particular order
This is not a complete list:
Dean/Death (the first Death) (though Dean/Billie has its merits I don’t think the universe would survive)
Sam/Rowena
Jody/Dean and Jody/Sam (what?)
Donna/Dean and Donna/Sam (…what??)
Sam/Eileen (yay!)
Jody/Mary (sigh)
Jody/Donna (this is canon right?)
Jack/Jesse (antichrists in love! <3)
Claire/Kaia (obvs)
Dean/Benny (my heart)
Dean/Cain. (I mean…. Also haha dean cain. Sorry. I am easily amused.)
OG Michael/Adam (the other Winchester brother, not the first man) (how would that work…lol)
I realize Castiel is not on the list. I liked the unusual relationship he had with Meg quite a lot. Especially his gentleness with her, and his reluctance to kill her when ordered, and the way she called him her unicorn, the shy way he referenced the pizza man, and his, "I know how to make a woman's nether parts quiver" hahaha <3. But besides that, and besides Dean/Castiel and Sam/Castiel or a S/D/C scenario, I’m not sure my heart can handle Castiel with anyone else. Certainly not any of the other angels. (aside: his scenes with Hannah made me laugh because she was like naked and he was like oh my god where do I look hahhahaha <3 <3 <3). I like flirty Castiel/Rowena, her handsome angel. Castiel/human female is okay with me, actually. But I don't know, he's kind of reserved for the Winchesters.
Someone else not on the list is Crowley. If anyone asks me to imagine Crowley in any more sexual or romantic manner than the show already made me suffer through (the middle-aged hot flash lady notwithstanding, that was awesome) I will be forced to smite you. A part of me shriveled up and died when they hinted at a threesome with him and Dean.
Other persons not on the list are Chuck or Lucifer. I’d actually be okay with Chuck/Dean in theory, but eh, I can't quite picture it (and I don't really like Dean/Amara as a pairing though I like their conversations). Lucifer is just wrong on any level, in any vessel, with any person, and I'm deeply deeply deeply sorry for Kelly Kline.
Okay, that's just a warm up. 15 seasons tomorrow.
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Date: 2021-04-13 10:42 pm (UTC)Also love the way you describe Dean and Castiel, because it is interesting to watch people who have gone back to the show once it's done see it through that lens of completeness (you and sockii/sidewinder being two of the most fun to watch as they do it) and yeah, it was there on the page from the very beginning, whether they initially meant to have it be so, or not. In and post-season-8, arguably, they meant to, and so much of it was intentional, I do think that's where a lot of things about the show sharpen into focus. It was no longer Kripke's, and no longer a Frankenstein of leftover Kripke ideas and dangling threads. It acquired Carver as showrunner, and I started to really love the show again. (I can do without seasons 6 and 7.)
Dean/Benny = <3. eta: so many typos, sigh
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Date: 2021-04-13 11:11 pm (UTC)S'all right. Just realized I messed up all my cut tags lol.
If you liked that wait till tomorrow! Honestly I wanted to post the whole thing at once but I was like a runaway train. Too many words. Had to make up for 15 years I guess.
There's a lot of meta that happens, to bounce back against that,
It's interesting because that's always what's pushing against unconditional love. Life and crap and what not, but the whole point is that none of that matters!
just as the Winchesters are changed by being loved by Bobby, and Jody, etc. That found family + devotion + unconditional love is part of why I never quit the show, even when it made me mad.
I edited out all my words about Jody lol. But AGREE. <3
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Date: 2024-03-20 09:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-21 03:01 am (UTC)